November 25, 2015 § Leave a comment
My brother put this image up yesterday aptly titled Passing By. He has a keen ability in composition to provide a brief commentary that stops short of explanation that allows the observer to draw on their life experience to create a personal story. I am no different. I find so many possibilities for writing in the way he presents the world each day.
I am part of this world as I dive into his view of what surrounds him and pull together words to describe what I am reminded, my experience and dreams with the connected emotions, pushing and pulling on my psyche.
When is see Passing By it reminds me of how little I have participated in life as I focus on destinations. What was missed as I would shuttle from place to place not taking the time to breathe, smell, see or touch. Not slowing down or moving off course to open a door to something special or something that needs the warmth of another.
Who passes by closed doors and who stands behind them are often the same person. Living in a shelter of mind with surroundings safe but still able to see the shadows of a world as it walks by. Enough of a view to stir the imagination creating demons who justify solitude, a stark contrast to the inquisitive self left in childhood.
I feel my inner child stirring. Once again I am curious. It may be the time of pause, the regrouping of mind or the forced isolation of past few years that allows me to feel comfort and lose the shame. Once again I want to pull all those doors open. I want to see what is inside and outside, to explore the world, experience and lives of others and learn.
When you look at this Passing By what do you see, what do you feel?
January 21, 2014 § 11 Comments
Five months. The thoughts spin, a wonderful chaos of what is and what will be. For now the focus is on collection and putting one foot in front of the other . The day will arrive based on my commitment to a new year, to craft something unique, of my own.
January 4, 2014 § 13 Comments
“A dog is a dog unless he is facing you, then he is Mr. Dog” « Read the rest of this entry »
December 27, 2013 § 7 Comments
It is hard to see the sun and when I look up it is bright, blinding and it is what they say it is like when you die, bright light, ascending to what ever it is that is above, or below. I just see bright light and I have to close my eyes, then it falls over me, the thoughts of what makes a prefect day, not a last day.
I want more days and some days I can not get that thought to keep rhythm with my heart that wants more. More love, more life, more giving and more of you. Where these places are coming from I have little understanding, where they are from or going to to, a secret place. « Read the rest of this entry »
December 9, 2013 § 13 Comments
A quiet chatter, distant most times and at others a loud, echoing, deafening voice. Always present and seldom can it be hushed away, it fades on its own accord, in its own time. The lack of control on the volume dial only adds leaving me with fear that others will hear, will see what is so obvious to me.
So it is when the demon wakes from its sleep in distant corners of my mind. Angry that it is pulled from the terror of his fitful nightmares that provoke him when he is not with me, near me. It is this torment that he faces that he shares, angry no doubt that he is inflicted so and wishes only for others, or at least me, to suffer his same fate. « Read the rest of this entry »
November 21, 2013 § 14 Comments
Sometimes the mind pulls harder than reality and I find myself anxious and searching for a place to go to calm myself, a place to hold me secure as waves of irrational thoughts wash past. These moments come to me less often but they do arrive and when they do it is without invitation. Walking in the dark, driving through the day, in dreams as I sleep and while writing, there is no place I can hide. « Read the rest of this entry »
November 13, 2013 § 6 Comments
Months of audio books, lessons with words repeating to phrase, yet in this moment the voice was blurring together something unfamiliar in a melodic way. I was here, as far as I have ever travelled to a place. Unfamiliar except for one thing, that smile greeting with all its nonsensical words, a look that was genuine. In return my smile with eyes wide and mind blank. « Read the rest of this entry »